The dichotomy and harmony of Jo and Amy March
You are allowed to be more than one thing.
Growing up, I identified with Jo March. She was the writer in the family of March sisters, created by Louisa May Alcott in her novel Little Women. I identified with her struggle to work day jobs so she could write during the dark hours of the morning.
But secretly, I also identified with Amy March. Amy is the artist who travels to Europe. She’s also an astute businesswoman, approaching marriage like a merger. In those days, that’s exactly what it was.
I’ve been thinking about the multifaceted nature of human beings. How our identities often get solidified early on, and it takes real groundedness and identity work to tap into our full selves, especially when our communities have erected monuments to the people they want us to be.
I was always a big sister. A nurturer and the responsible one. I naturally gravitated toward nurturing professions, first youth ministry, and then running a nonprofit for abuse survivors while working one-on-one with clients in trauma recovery.
In the past five years or so, I’ve slowly been turning my energy and attention toward the other parts of me. Because while I do love art, writing make-believe stories, and books and movies that make me cry…
I also like talking about ROIs and investment portfolios. The difference between an S-corp and a C-corp. I like getting shit done.
Part of me wants to stay in yoga pants all day and write from my couch.
I also want to wear a blazer and walk into a corporate office with a latte in hand and a laptop under one arm.
I’m Jo March, who cannot live without writing. I’m also Amy March, who likes nice clothing and enough money to travel and see the world.
Read about the career coach who first suggested I was allowed to pursue more than one career.
We are, all of us, more than just one thing. We have varied interests. We have many gifts and talents. Our dreams and desires are expansive.
And all parts of us deserve sunlight.
When we are socialized as women, we receive messages about what gifts and talents are acceptable. My nurturing and responsible parts were socially acceptable, so those were the parts that got attention and praise from my community.
The parts of me that are a real badass, a ruthless negotiator, a competent strategist, and an all-around talented businessperson—those things weren’t even noticed. And in the worst situations, those gifts were treated like a threat. I had to notice and care for them myself. I had to choose to give energy and fuel to the parts of me that are not socially acceptable. I have to accept my full self, even the parts of me that seemed to be opposing.
Movie adaptations of Little Women like to portray Jo and Amy March as oil and water, like they are opposing forces. But my favorite adaptation is the one created by Greta Gerwig. She portrays the reason the sisters are at odds with each other as competition. They are both ambitious, seeking lives beyond their small world while continuing to value the foundation of their family.
They are a dichotomy. They are also in harmony.
Our talents and interests do not have to be at odds with one another. They are all part of us. And all parts of us deserve sunlight and water.
If you’re an ambitious or creative woman (or both!) looking for trauma-informed support while navigate your life and future:
Use this link to book a free 20 minute consultation.
Want to read more about my journey as an ambitious woman in patriarchal spaces? Check out a copy of my latest book, A Thousand Tiny Paper Cuts