I Once Auditioned for The Bachelor

I was living in St. Louis for grad school when I heard an announcement on the radio. (Yes, I still listened to the radio back then. Don’t judge.) It said there were open-call auditions at the Westin Hotel downtown.

My first thought? Well, obviously I’m doing that.

Did I actually think I’d get on the show? No.
Did I even want to be on the show? Absolutely not.
But did I want to go to that audition just so I could write about it later? You betcha.

I fought through traffic and arrived hot and sweaty. First, they took us into a room to fill out an absurdly long application. The only question I remember was:

"Do you have any tattoos? If so, what are they and where are they located on your body?"

That was my favorite part of the whole thing.

Meanwhile, I noticed women walking in with six-inch heels, false eyelashes, and entire portfolios of headshots. I was not prepared for this level of glamour.

Next stop: headshots. I had never done professional ones before, and I’m fairly certain I looked ridiculous. Then came the video interview. My interviewers looked bored out of their minds. They asked me about my dating history. I told them I hadn’t dated much. That’s about all I remember.

(In my latest book, I write more about the plethora of dating experience I earned later. order A Thousand Tiny Paper Cuts Today!)

I left the audition feeling absolutely thrilled that I had done it—knowing this was a story I could tell for the rest of my life.

That season’s Bachelor was Ben. I had noticed him when he’d appeared on The Bachelorette, making it to the top three. Did I secretly hope I’d get to meet him? Sure. Did I actually think it would happen? Not a chance—especially after seeing those women with their fake lashes and perfectly manicured hands. They wanted it. Bad. I sincerely hope they got what they wanted.

Over the years, people have called me “brave.” But I actually never feel that brave. I just spent a long time suppressing my desires, watching dreams fade or stay out of reach because I was told they weren’t “God’s plan” for me.

So these days, when I want something and it’s within my reach, I go for it. It doesn’t always work out, but I’m much more prone to seize opportunities.

I’ve learned it’s a delicate dance—and I don’t always take risks just for the sake of risk. (I mean, yes, I want that 16-inch baguette, but do I need that 16-inch baguette?)

I’ve also learned not to put off dreams for too long. Once, I went to a musical workshop led by this really kind man who made the space feel safe. Afterwards, I asked him if he’d give me voice lessons. I’d wanted to take them for years and thought I’d work best with a male teacher because of my lower vocal register. Still, it had to be the right man—I don’t generally feel safe around men, and singing is deeply vulnerable.

Turns out, I was right about him. My voice coach is delightful. Our lessons are basically therapy sessions with some breathing exercises and humming thrown in.

My recommendation? take stock of your dreams and desires. Then work to make them happen. Life will throw enough obstacles in your way—don’t let fear or inhibition be one of them.