Frog Hunting: Like Begets More Likes
No-Hug Starbucks Date from day one was not the first time I was hit on by a guy while waiting to go on a date with a different guy. This scenario repeated a year or so later while waiting for the arrival of my date. I was twiddling my thumbs on a city block for almost an hour past our planned meeting time when I became engaged in conversation with another darkly handsome gentleman. After a few minutes of flirting, he asked me if I wanted to get a drink. “Oh, I wish I could,” I said. “But I’m actually waiting to go out with someone in a minute.”
“Well, sweetheart, should this man not work out, give me a call.” He handed me his card.
Moral of both stories: Do not be late to your first date.
There is this thing that happens—and I’m sure there’s a scientific explanation—when you’re open and expectant. It sends off this signal. The “I’m available” signal.
Have you ever heard “When it rains, it pours” applied to dating? My friends and I would talk about the seasons when we would get lots of interest and then the seasons when we experienced serious drought in the male department. Some days there’d be one guy after another. Some days—let’s face it, most days—there was nothing. Like No-Thing.
My theory is, once someone starts pursuing you or expressing interest, if you’re feeling a little bit flattered, it turns on this thing inside of you—this pulsing radar of openness and invitation. This radar is invisible to the eye, but it calls forth the hordes and suddenly, everybody is interested.
And when this season ends, it ends when you’ve had enough. When the person you were interested in doesn’t show interest back. When you’ve broken up with someone. When you’ve reached a real low and your discouragement level is high. That’s when the rain stops coming down.
It’s just a theory…