I feel like I want to start the year out intentionally praying for something.
I’ve done this before and usually fasted from something at the same time.
I’ve taken a break from alcohol and Instagram in the past.
I guess I could do that again?
What should I pray about?
Maybe I should pray about what I should pray about…
What should I fast from while I’m intentionally praying?
What’s something I really enjoy doing but don’t really need?
Nooooooo! Not Netflix!
Okay, the very fact that I had THAT reaction means I should probably give up Netflix.
Any other ideas, God? God?
Okay, Netflix it is.
I am really sad and missing all my friends after Christmas and New Years.
This is the time I usually turn on a Fuller House episode to make me laugh.
And to distract me from my depressed and lonely feelings.
Gah. I really just want to not feel this way.
The fastest escape is a funny TV show.
This no Netflix thing totally sucks.
Wow. Awareness of one coping mechanism is making me aware of all my other coping mechanism: TV, yoga, exercise, coffee, good food, texting friends, writing, journaling.
All beautiful, wonderful things that are extremely easy to pop into the moment an uncomfortable feeling surfaces.
All beautiful, wonderful things that most people (including myself) would put in the “self-care” category.
The trouble is, they are totally non-damaging, self-care techniques and beautiful gifts from God.
Trying to figure out what the problem is, here. Is there a problem?
Meditated on Psalm 4 today.
Mainly, “The Lord hears when I call to him” and “for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.”
Read the Jesus Storybook Bible today.
“God knew his children could never be happy without him.”
No Netflix January. To be clear, the purpose is not shaming or punishing myself for enjoying entertainment. The purpose is to clear out some clutter so I’m less distracted while listening for God’s voice. In the Bible, prayer always accompanies fasting, because it’s not about giving something up. It’s about getting something better.
2017 was a very momentous, but very difficult year. I’m still reeling from it. I’m entering 2018 hyper-aware that I really can’t do this life without my Jesus. I’m giving up my go-to entertainment so I can spend some more intentional time talking to him.
I miss Netflix. But Jesus time is really, really great.