Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Life and Death and Insurance

You know you’re a grownup when you start having conversations like these with your siblings.

Me: (to brother) I put you in my will.
Bro: Oh cool. How much do I get?
Me: 16.67%, which after funeral expenses and taxes and such, should be about $5.
Bro: Sweet.
Me: But my life insurance is $50,000 so you’ll probably get about $8,000. 
Bro: $8,000! That’s awesome!

Me: (to sister #1) What’s your social security number?
Sister #1: (gives social) What for?
Me: You’re a beneficiary for my life insurance.
Sister #1: Cool. How much?
Me: $50,000 to be divided between all the siblings.
Sister #1: Okay. Oh yeah, you’re my beneficiary, too. Divide it between the sibs if I die.
Me: Deal.

Me: (to sister #2) What’s your social?
Sister #2: (gives social) What for?
Me: You’re contingency beneficiary should Sister #1 die, too.
Sister #2: Cool. How much do I get?
Me: Not much after you transport my remains back from Mexico and pay for funeral expenses. But you don’t have to transport my remains if you don’t want to. You can just leave them in Mexico. I won’t care.
Sister #2: Okay!

Me: (to sister #3) Is it bad that we joke about life insurance and stuff?
Sister #3: No, it’s just us.
Me: And we all know it would be horrible if any one of us died.
Sister #3: Yeah, it’d be awful. I don’t know what I’d do.
Me: There are no siblings who would mourn the loss of one of their own like us.
Sister #3: Yeah, but it’s okay to have fun with it.
Me: And being able to leave money behind would be one blessing from one of us dying.
Sister #3: It would be great to be able to bless each other like this. But seriously, if one of you died, I don’t know what I’d do.
Me: Have a party with the insurance money.
Sister #3: Yeah, you’ll get to be in heaven. It’s least you could do for us.
Me: Right back atcha.

Okay, maybe we’re not grown ups.

1 comment:

  1. haha, glad I (and my siblings and roommates) am not the only one :)