Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Unrequited

This is the story of hundreds of girls. Some of these girls I know personally. This is my story, my friend's story, and the story of many others. This is the story, the end, of what happens when you don't get what you wanted, but you know God gave you something better.


Do you remember when we first met?

You said something that caught my eye,

I don’t understand exactly,

But in that moment,

You became beautiful to me.


Over the weeks, you continued to grow,

Said things that made feelings rise,

Feelings I’ve never felt before,

I didn’t know I could.


I thought for a second you liked me too,

Did I do something wrong?

You acted as a brother should,

I felt I wanted more.


I asked God for you.

It was a simple prayer.

I felt He heard and understood.

I thought He’d answer, yes.


Then your eyes slowly turned,

At me they never looked.

It was cold and empty truth,

That finally stilled my heart.


I know now that I really loved you,

Because I let you go.

I want to never have you,

If that is what’s best for you.


I wasn’t what’s best for you,

This I know for sure,

But what I didn’t think was,

You weren’t what’s best for me.


Looking at you now,

Without the eyes of love,

I see more clearly now,

You never were mine to love.


Still I wonder sometimes,

As my story continues on,

If there was a reason why,

I ever loved you at all.


Was it to show me how it feels,

To have a beating heart,

And know the painful hurt,

When that heart fell apart?


Was it so I could understand,

When another felt that way,

To offer my own story,

Of enduring the same fate?


Is it because I’d wrapped my heart,

Securely, with iron mail,

That the only way to break it out

Was to love you as you are?


Maybe my love for you,

Was not the curse I’d thought,

Maybe you were a gift,

To free my haughty heart.


You were the only thing,

That could tap into its core,

A driving, constant thorn,

To make it bleed once more.


I asked God for you.

It was a simple prayer.

I felt He heard and understood.

In a way, He answered yes.


Not to give me what I asked,

But to give me something more.

A heart that was filled with passion,

For a different and better god.


Was it wrong to love you,

To wish for love returned?

If it was, I wouldn’t trade

The experience I have earned.


A certain Man loved a maid,

In response she turned her back.

She hated and cursed His name,

Then she stabbed Him in the back.


The why’s and wherefore’s are not clear,

The reasons are confused,

But such is the path of suffering,

That cannot be deferred.


To love without response,

Is an ageless and endless kind.
I was not the first to have this love,

And I will not be the last.


The pain is real. I cannot lie.

A tragic end this would be.

Instead, you shed your tears,

You state your heart,

And prepare to love again.

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