Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Let's Pretend

Sometimes, I pretend that I am a columnist. My blog is this super-sonic magazine or newspaper that has thousands of readers. My Column is due every week.

I meet with my editor on Fridays. During this meeting I inform him that I don’t want to reveal my idea for the column, it’d be easier to just write it.

            This, of course, is code for “I don’t have an idea but I’m sure I’ll think of one before the deadline arrives.”

            Then the deadline is upon me. My excuse for not having written my column yet is because I’ve been so busy answering fan mail; I didn’t have a chance to come up with anything.

             So I go to friends and family and ask them for an idea. Their ideas are mediocre but definitely something I will keep in mind for the next time I can’t come up with anything. But this week, they just aren’t working for me.

            Then I go check my list of future column ideas. These ideas are saved for rainy days when I can’t come up with anything to write. I survey this list and, unfortunately, they just aren’t working for me, either.

            I spend a few hours stalking other columnists and Facebook profiles, trying to come up with that one, grab-me, idea.

            The deadline is here. I have only a few hours. I’m staring at the screen. I have to start writing something. Anything.

            So I begin to type. It begins with “Let’s Pretend.” I imagine that I am a columnist for a super-sonic magazine or newspaper that has thousands of readers. My column is due every week…


  1. hahaha you are crazy...way to "write a column" without actually writing a column...

  2. Just you wait. I'll be a columnist some day.