Below is an outline of a talk given by Jessica Mills. She was single until the age of 29. During her single years, God taught her many lessons and she has committed to pass on what she learned to the next generation.
I was present for the talk and found it inspiring and encouraging—not cliché or condescending, as some “singleness” talks can be. The talk was directed towards young women, but there were men, and married couples, present.
Jessica’s learning ground was a series of bad relationships with the wrong guys. She shared her testimony (including how she met her husband) at the beginning of her talk. Today she is married with 3 children.
Being whole in HIM – Jessica Mills
Deer Valley – AUGUST 2009
* Only God can change people – I can’t
* I must trust God with HIS best for me.
* I learned from the WORD how precious masculinity is. I needed to learn to treat it with respect, just like I like my femininity to be treated.
* Establish and nurture mentoring relationships with older and younger sisters in the Body. Make sure that there is giving and receiving. Wise older sisters need to be approached for advice, prayer and counsel.
* Position yourself to have relationships of accountability and always check how teachable you are– constantly monitor the condition of your heart .i.e motivations, attitudes, etc.
* Recognize what you don’t want in a man; in life.
* Constantly work on your identity being rooted in Christ, not the need to be needed. My need to be needed was the bait for the bad guys.
* Be careful never to stand between a person and the cross. Get out of the way and stand beside them—not in front of them.
Doing Life: day-to-day practical tips:
Realize that your walk with the Lord is YOUR responsibility – always – and we will all stand before HIM – alone!
Can you answer the following questions for yourself?
- Are you in the centre of God’s will for your life? If not, seek and you shall find.
- Can you hear God’s voice?
- What are your dreams, desires, calling, purpose?
Do you actively take your thoughts captive?
(Recommended reading ‘The battlefield of the Mind’ by Joyce Meyer)
Are you guarding your heart? Watch out for romance novels and films, fashion magazines, etc – they do not line up with God’s Word. A great Christian fiction author – Francine Rivers.
Speak life about yourself and others – watch your tongue. Beware of man bashing and negativity about your singleness.
Journal – keep notes of verses and share your dreams and desires with the Lord. Leave them in the journal and LIVE. Watch the Lord come through when you read it all later and be encouraged.
Verses that have really encouraged me:
Love the Lord with all your heart……………..
(Mat 6:33 NIV) But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
(Prov 3:5-8 NIV) Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.
(Psa 121:1-8 NIV) A song of ascents. I lift up my eyes to the hills-- where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip-- he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD watches over you-- the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm-- he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.
(John 10:10 NIV) The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
(Gal 2:20 NIV) I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
(2 Cor 3:18 NIV) And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
(Luke 6:38 NIV) Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."
My prayer for you: (Eph 3:16-21 NIV) I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.